To Catch an Ed
by Zinator
Summary: A few months after the movie, strange events involving watermelon and "The Gourd" lead Ed to take matters into his own hands. My first story. K for some fighting.
1. Chapter 1: The Gourd?

_RIIIIIIING!_

The doors at Peach Creek Junior High flew open to the celebrated three-day weekend. Masses of kids barged through them and began to spread throughout the area.

"This is going to be great!" Eddy clutched his backpack straps in anticipation. "Three whole days of kicking back and relaxing!"

"I wouldn't count on that, Eddy." Eddy's best friend Edd, or Double-D, as he was more commonly referred to as, reminded him. "We have that big History paper due on Tuesday."

"That junk's all in the past anyway!" Eddy said, waving his arm dismissively.

"I'm going to write mine on the history of gravy!" The third of the trio, Ed, exclaimed.

The three amigos turned a corner, the majestic cul-de-sac they called home spread out before them.

"I'm not sure that's exactly-" Before Edd could finish his sentence, a loud and familiar scream came from behind them.

"JIMMY!" The Eds turned around to see Sarah, Ed's younger sister, looking at her best friend Jimmy, who appeared to have a large watermelon on his head.

"Good Lord!" Edd ran over and began attempting to pull off the watermelon.

"How did this happen?"

"We were just walking right behind you guys, and bam!" Sarah clapped her hands for dramatic affect. "It came right out of the sky!"

"The sky, huh?" Eddy looked up at a tall tree directly above Jimmy. "Looks like someone's got a bone to pick with you, Jimmy my boy."

"Yum, watermelon!" Ed ripped the melon from Jimmy's golden hair. "Oh, look, a prize!"

A small piece of paper fell out of the inside of the melon. Ed picked it up, wearing the watermelon as a hat. He read, "_This is just a taste of what is to come. The Gourd. _What's a gourd?"

"Gourds are fruits, Ed." Edd explained. "Fruits such as cucumbers, squash, and watermelon."

"Interesting." Eddy peered at Jimmy's juice-covered head.

"Um, hello?" Sarah shouted abruptly. "What about Jimmy?"

"Of course. Ed, get Jimmy over to my house. I've got a junior forensic kit I've been dying to use!" Edd took the paper from Ed and began inspecting it. "Hmm, The Gourd. Who could that be?"

Author's Note: Anyone who's seen the movie might know the answer. This is my first story, so go a little easy me, huh? Also, the next chapter will be much longer.


	2. Chapter 2: Alien Goop

"Hmmm…interesting." Edd peered through his oversized microscope and wrote down another detail of the smashed watermelon. Meanwhile, Ed, Eddy, Sarah, and Jimmy were looking through Edd's invention cabinet. Ed pressed a button on the Opera-o-matic and laughed.

"It sounds like the sound I make when I play the violin!" He then turned his attention to the robot.

"Ed! Don't touch any- hey, look at these things!" Eddy put on a pair of elevator boots, jumped, and came crashing down to the floor.

"Idiots." Sarah muttered.

Edd stepped down from the microscope. "Well, people, I've finish going over the data, and I don't like it."

"Why not?" Sarah asked.

"Well, from the placement of the hole and the timing involved to hit Jimmy, I've come to the conclusion that someone put the watermelon up there themselves, leading to two solutions." Edd looked down at his notes. " First, someone was up there to drop the watermelon themselves, so as the watermelon was not dropped on us, it was probably intended for either Jimmy or Sarah."

Sarah looked concerned. Jimmy look downright terrified.

"Second, the tree was rigged so whoever stepped under it would get hit. This means that it was not necessarily directed at anyone."

Jimmy raised his hand. "But in that case, wouldn't you guys have gotten hit first?"

Edd scratched the back of his head. "Well, that's why I'm worried, Jimmy."

"Thanks for help, Double-D. I think me and Jimmy will go home now." Sarah started towards the door.

"Yeah, I think we'll go too." Ed and Eddy followed them.

"Well, see you later." Edd turned back to his basement desk and sat down. A falling watermelon, The Gourd? What did it all mean? He sighed and trudged upstairs.

"Oh look, alien slime!" Ed pointed to something on the ground that could only be described as, well, alien slime.

"Oh no!" Eddy screamed mockingly. "The Martians are attacking! Whatever shall we do?" He went over to the mound of mush and picked some up. "It's just some old watermelon."

"Ew, what the heck is that?" Sarah exclaimed.

"It's an alien blob that's going to consume us alive and suck out our fluids!" Ed shouted.

"What's all that noise?" Edd said as he came outside.

"It's an alien blood-sucking goop that will-" Ed said, but Edd cut him off.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Ed, but this is just rotten watermelon."

"Hmmm…watermelon." Eddy looked at the watermelon goop curiously.

"Look, there's some more over there!" Jimmy pointed to another pile of glop about twenty feet away.

"It's like some kind of trail marker." Said Edd, struggling to keep up.

"No, Wilfred!" Rolf, a kid from a far-off country that nobody could pronounce the name of, was addressing his pet pig.

"Rolf's shoe is not for eating!" For some reason, Rolf had a strange habit of addressing himself in the third person, along with giving everyone weird nicknames like "Sock-for-hat Ed boy".

"Hey Rolf, what's up?" Walking towards him was Kevin, the neighborhood jock.

"Hello, Kevin-boy. Rolf believes that the sky is what is up, yes?" Rolf finally ripped his shoe from Wilfred's grasp.

"Whatever, dude. Anyways, have you seen Nazz lately? I haven't seen here all day."

"The Nazz-girl? No, Rolf has seen nothing of her." Rolf looked out to something behind Kevin. "Rolf wonders what is causing this gathering of the young ones."

"Huh?" Kevin turned around to see Ed, Edd, Eddy, Sarah, and Jimmy surrounding something on the other side of the cul-de-sac. "What are those dorks up to this time?"

All of a sudden, Kevin saw Sarah point to something, and the group ran down the back alleyway.

"Rolf is curious." Rolf hopped over the fence. "Perhaps we should investigate, yes?"

"Whatever, dude." The pair ran across the circle, towards the alleyway.

Author's Note: ANOTHER cliffhanger? Yes, not only have I not answered the first question, but I ALSO gave you ANOTHER question to ponder. Although I suppose at least one of you will figure everything it out. Which would be a bit creepy, since my plan for Nazz is a bit, well, you'll see. Review in the meantime?


	3. Chapter 3: Kidnapped!

Kevin and Rolf met up with Ed, Edd, Eddy, Sarah, and Jimmy just as they found another small pile of rotting watermelon. Edd inspected one with his ever-present magnifying glass.

"Interesting." He said, touching the goop with the tip of his finger. "According to my calculations, this watermelon pile has been here since about 3:45."

Kevin looked at his watch. "Well, it's nearly 5, so that must mean-"

"_MMMMPH!_"

"What the heck was that?" Sarah shouted.

"Someone's in trouble!" Jimmy squealed.

"It came from over there!" Eddy pointed across the creek towards the deep part of the woods. Everyone started running towards it.

"I can't swim, Sarah!"

"Relax, Jimmy, it's only a foot deep."

Everyone finally reached the other size and charged into the woods. They came across a dirt path and began running down it.

"This place seems familiar." Edd said, looking around at his surroundings. He knew he had been here before, but he just couldn't-

"Hey! This is the path we went down to get to Spookyville!"

Leave it to Eddy to stop him mid-thought. He then notice a familiar tree that the path bended around.

"There's just something very suspicious about all- _GOOD LORD!_"

Edd had spontaneously decided to look up, and what he saw nearly gave him a heart attack.

"What the heck are you-" Eddy look up as well.

"Hi, Nazz!" Ed shouted.

Far above them, tied to a giant branch with her hands and feet tied together and a watermelon bashed over her head was-

"Nazz!" Everyone else had come back to see what all the commotion was about, and it was Kevin that look up first.

"We gotta get her down!"

"No kidding."

"Alright then, there's no time to lose. Who's the best at climbing trees?"

"In the old country, Rolf would often climb trees to collect hanging fruits!"

"I got an A in gym class last year!"

"Ed got an A?" Eddy said, his voice full of surprise.

"Never question a good thing, Eddy." Said Edd. "All right, you two go get her down, and remember to free here arms and legs, and get that watermelon off if you can!"

"Climb time!" Ed and Rolf jumped on the tree and started to climb upwards. They took only a few second to reach Nazz, and Ed pulled the watermelon off as Rolf untied her limbs. When they were finished, they pulled the handkerchief off her mouth and started to carry her down. When they did, Nazz began spitting out as many comments as her brain had generated in the last hour.

"It's about time you guys found me! I was up there for ages! My hair is a disaster! It's gunna take me all night to clean this off! All my blood was slowly going to me head! It was unbelievably painful! I almost lost consciousness! Where the heck am I?"

"Nazz?" Edd said politely. "I'm terribly sorry for your most dreadful ordeal, but I need you to come with me to my house to ask you a few questions."

"What is this, CSI Peach Creek?" Nazz said sarcastically.

"At the moment, yes. Come on everyone. Let's go to my house."

"Ed, you comin'?" Eddy looked at Ed, who was staring at the piece of watermelon intently.

"You go." He said. "I'll… catch up."

"Suit yourself, Captain Gravy."

And that's when it happened. Even as Eddy walked back to the cul-de-sac, leaving Ed to that last thought, Ed's brain suddenly jumpstarted like never before. He put the watermelon under his arm and ran back to the cul-de-sac. He knew what he had to do.

Eddy opened the unlocked door to Edd's house and headed to the basement. Only one light was one, a desk lamp shining down on Nazz's head, but Eddy could still see that everyone else was already there. Edd was standing behind the desk with his hands on it, staring at Nazz intently.

"So, Nazz." Edd pushed himself off the table and began pacing back and forth. "Can you tell me exactly when you were kidnapped?"

"I think it was around 3:40."

"Intriguing." Edd scratched his chin, as if he had a beard, which he didn't. "Can you describe your kidnapper?"

"No, they just put the watermelon over my head."

"Do you recall anything after that?"

"Not much. They tied up my arms and legs and carried me to that tree and left me there. I heard them run back to the cul-de-sac."

"That rhymes!"

"Please, quiet, everyone. Did the kidnapper speak at all?"

"No, they never said anything. Although I think there were two over them."

"What makes you say that?" Edd stopped pacing and went back to leaning on the table.

"I don't know, I just do."

"All right then, I think we're done here."

Jimmy turned on a light, and everyone became visible again. Nazz got up out of the chair and took a seat along the wall with everyone else.

"All right then, we've got to figure out where everyone was between 3:30 and 4, and you need someone to confirm that they were there with you. You first, Rolf."

"Rolf was at home, tending to the field."

"Any vouchers?"

"Yeah, I saw him from my house when I was watching TV."

"All right, Kevin. Next, Sarah."

"Me and Jimmy were with you, Ed, and Eddy."

"Ok then. That leaves Kevin, Jonny, and the Kankors unconfirmed."

"Hey!" said Kevin abruptly. " I wouldn't do something like that!"

"That I can believe. Now, nobody saw Jonny, did they?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Ok then." Edd continued. "And nobody saw the Kankors, did they?"

Nobody had.

"Right." Edd scratched his chin again. "That leaves us with four, five if you count Plank, three since the Kankors are always together, and two since Plank is a board. Dear me, this is all very peculiar. Well, I'm going to think it all over. Everyone else can go home."

The crowd piled out, except for Eddy, who decided to stay.

"Eddy, where's Ed?"

"I dunno. He stayed at the tree and said he'd catch up, but…"

"Eddy," Edd began worriedly "You don't think he would-"

"Of course not!" Eddy nearly shouted. "He wouldn't do something like that! Besides, He was with us since we left school."

"Sorry, Eddy." Edd looked at the ground. "I'm just a bit worried for him. It's not like him to just go off by himself like that."

"Hey." Eddy picked up Edd's drooping face. "He'll be alright, Double-D. Trust me."

Edd chuckled a little. "Trusting you isn't exactly the smartest thing someone could do."

Eddy glared at him a moment, then stopped. "Well, I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Said Edd. "See ya."

Ed leapt over the creek and charged through the woods. He burst out and soared over the fence and dived into the tiny window that led into his basement room. How he still fits is anyone's guess.

Ed jumped to his closet and began ripping out clothes older than the sandwich in his desk. Luckily, his mom had got shopping last week, so some stuff fit him still.

_My home is threatened._

He pulled out a blindfold and some scissors and began cutting holes him them.

_My friends are threatened._

He pulled out some old rags from elementary school and began to cut them to pieces.

_My family is threatened._

He grabbed some superglue and carefully glued the cut-up rags onto a fairly new t-shirt.

_The very fabric that holds our peaceful lives together is threatened._

He pulled the sheet right off his bed and put on the t-shirt as he did so.

_This is my home._

He tied the blindfold around his face, cut just so so he could see through it, tied the bedsheet around his neck and stared at himself in his bathroom mirror.

_I have to defend it._

He ran over to the window and climbed outside.

_But myself alone is not enough._

He jumped onto the fence.

_I must become…_

He leapt up on a nearby tree and scanned the cul-de-sac.

_Captain Gravy._

Author's Note: Man, that was a ride, wasn't it? This chapter was supposed to end at the obscure _Home Alone _reference, but I decided to at least reveal his name. You could call it really epic or really cheesy, to me it's kind of both. Well, remember to review!


	4. Chapter 4: The Investigation

Eddy kicked a pile of leaves as he walked home, hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He sighed deeply and gazed up at the sky. He sighed again and looked back at the sidewalk.

Across the cul-de-sac, Ed jumped from the tree he was sitting in, grabbed the branch of another tree, and used the momentum to swing on top of it. He looking around the cul-de-sac again. Trouble was coming. He could feel it in the October breeze.

Eddy glanced across the road. He could've sworn something huge had just moved in that tree.

Then Ed saw it. A few yards in front of Eddy, a huge pot of red liquid was being held by someone, preparing to dump the contents all over Eddy from the tree.

Eddy continued walking. He was going to go to the row of stores deeper into town, but at the moment, it didn't matter. He was thinking.

Ed stared out, trying to see who it was. But they were just too far away. He stuffed one of his gloved hands into his deep pockets.

Eddy looked at the tree coming up in front of him. It was the same tree Jimmy had gotten hit from. And it was in the yard of-

_SPLOOSH!_

An entire pot of red liquid was suddenly dumped upon Eddy, making him forget what he had been thinking almost immediately before. He looked around, wondering where it had come from.

Ed watched as the figure dumped the contents of the pot onto Eddy, and saw the figure dash away down the tree and into someone's backyard. He pulled a grappling hook from his pocket, grabbed the end of the rope, and threw it across the cul-de-sac. It lashed itself on the tree that the culprit had gotten Eddy from, and Ed swung across the road, over the fence, past the tree, and into someone's backyard. He ran to the backyard and hit behind the house. The figure, who appeared to be wearing some kind of green hat, went over to the rope swing and tugged twice. The rope retracted up the tree, and the figure went with it.

_It's him._

Ed watched as the figure jumped into a hole in the tree. Ed waited for the hole to close and for the rope to come back down, and ran over, pulled the rope twice, was pulled up the tree, and jumped down the deep, dark hole. He slid down a slide and landed on a ledge. He heard voices down below, so he stayed where he was. Ed looked down over the platform and watched everything unfold. The figure took off his hat, and Ed realized two things. One, the hat was actually the top half of a watermelon, which Ed noticed had a crack running from the top of it through one of the eyeholes, and two, the culprit was Jonny.

"Success!" Jonny sat in a large armchair and placed his helmet on a table next to a ripe red apple. "Eddy is soaked, and my plan is almost complete!"

He turned towards another large armchair where a wooden board was sitting. This was Jonny's best friend Plank.

"Wada ya mean, 'It's never gunna work'?"

Plank, being a piece of wooden, neglected to reply.

"Well, you're wrong. You said I couldn't have my revenge just because the movie was over. Who needs a movie? I've moved on to fan fiction!"

Plank didn't say anything.

"Wada ya mean, 'Don't break the fourth wall'? I'm a supervillian! I can break the fourth wall as many times as I want! But that's beside the point."

He went over to the table and picked up the apple, taking a large bite out of it. "Delicious! I got it fresh down at the farmer's market. Imported straight from Virginia." He went over to a tarp covering something large.

"And you know what else I got at the farmer's market?" He ripped the tarp away. "These!" Revealed were around 150 fresh watermelons.

"You like them? I got them on sale. The guy said they were grown from magic seeds, but instead of creating a beanstalk, it made a watermelon stalk. Not quite as tall, but there were a heck of a lot of watermelons."

Plank didn't say anything.

"I'll tell you. You see, that idiot Jimmy scheduled another Friendship Day for Saturday. Except you know what? He didn't invite me! So I'm making the Meloninator to destroy that lame giant heart and ruin it for everyone. Well, back to work."

Jonny went over to a large metal cannon with wheels and some controls and continued working on it.

Ed, back on the platform, had seen enough. He stopped his recording device, grabbed his grappling hook, and threw it to the top of the slide. He had to save the cul-de-sac.

Author's Note: TWO updates in one day? Awesome, right? Well, all has been revealed, so yeah. Next chapter will be the climax. I can't wait to write it! Although I'll probably have to, I've got a busy weekend ahead of me! Happy 11/11/11! I'll see you at 11:11! PM, because I missed the AM. Remember to review! Also, when writing this, I was thinking about Phineas and Ferb, so Jonny sounds a little like Doof.


	5. Chapter 5: Friendship Day

Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait, I had stuff to do. Anyway, here is the epic finale of To Catch an Ed! See you on the other side!

The children of the cul-de-sac were gathering around a large heart. The sun was shining, the birds were flying south, the squirrels were gathering their nuts. Everyone was happy. Everyone, that is, except for Ed.

"Everything ok, Ed?" Edd looked at Ed with concern. He could tell something was wrong.

"Uh, nothing!" Ed said franticly. "I, uh, gotta go to the, uh, bathroom!" Ed ran off.

"Hurry back then!" Edd turned to Eddy. "Eddy? I'm a bit worried about Ed. It's not like him to just run off like this."

"Cheer up!" Eddy put his arm around Edd's neck. "The guy's probably just gunna go grab some gravy or something."

"Hello, Double-D! Hello, Eddy!" Jimmy ran towards them. "Happy Friendship Day!"

"I thought Friendship Day was in the middle of summer." Said Eddy.

"We had to have all the kids in one place for the plot, Eddy." Said Edd.

"What the heck are you talkin' about?" Eddy went over to the giant heart, which was about half done. He picked up some newspapers, dunked them in the glue, and stuck it on the frame of the heart. Jimmy went to the large banner and started painting "Happy Friendship Day" on it. Edd got a paintbrush and started painting the heart red.

Meanwhile, Captain Gravy was watching everything from a tree. He peered through his binoculars. Jonny was certainly going to come today. Wasn't he?

All of a sudden, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was huge, like a tank, and rolling out of Jonny's driveway.

_He's coming._

The giant tank rolled closer. It was made of wood, and painted green. A large cylinder, like an artillery gun, was sticking out of the front of the tank. Standing in front of the controls was Jonny, wearing his watermelon helmet.

Sarah was the first to notice. She turned around. "Jonny!" she shouted. "What th' heck are you doin'? Can't you see we're celebrating Friendship Day?"

"Of course I can, you brat!" Jonny shouted. "And don't call me Jonny. From now on you may call me, _The Gourd_!" Jonny gave an evil laugh. "and now I will have my revenge!"

"Not so fast, melonhead of evil!" Ed jumped from the tree. "Surrender, and I may spare your buttocks!"

"ED!" Eddy shouted. "What the heck are you DOIN'? Can't you see we're being attacked by a crazy madman out for revenge?"

"Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite fool, Ed!" Jonny laughed. "Nice superhero costume, NOT! Plank- I mean _Splinter_ says that Halloween isn't for another month!"

"That's Captain Gravy to you, evildoer!" Ed shouted. He jumped on the tank and threw a punch at Jonny. Jonny ducked and tried to kick Ed in the stomach, but Ed jumped to the side and landed on the edge of the Meloninator. He then launched himself at Jonny, grabbing him around the waist and throwing him to the road. Jonny flipped the two of them over, pushed Ed's arms off of him, and got back up.

"You're too late, Captain!" Jonny climbed back onto the Meloninator, grabbed the control levers, and swung the cannon towards Ed. "With just a push of a button, I will unleash havoc onto the cul-de-sac!"

Ed thought fast. He spotted a nearby rake, ran over to it, and broke the head of the rake over his knee. Then he pointed his weapon at Jonny.

"Ed, be careful with that!" Edd shouted. "It could have splinters!"

"Quit worrying, Sockhead!" Eddy sat down in a lawn chair and stuffed his hand into a bag of popcorn. "Everyone loves a good fight scene!"

Jonny glared down at Ed. He grabbed Plank, who was attached to the head of a mop and wearing a mask. Jonny brought Plank up and swung it down on Ed's head. Ed held up his stick, blocking Jonny's attack. Then Jonny swung at Ed's side. Ed blocked again.

"Wow." Eddy stuffed popcorn into his mouth. "Who knew Ed could fence?"

The duel continued for another five minutes. Finally, Ed kicked Jonny in the stomach, sending him flying into the Meloninator. Jonny growled and climbed back up the side of the tank. He pushed a large red button marked, "_Melons"_.

Giant fresh watermelons began to fly from the barrel of the Meloninator. Ed ducked and dodged.

"What a complete waste of a perfectly good summer afternoon snack." Edd commented. "Yeah, a real drag." Kevin muttered. "Be careful, Ed!" Nazz yelled. " If you get watermelon on those new socks, I'm telling Mom!" Sarah shouted. "Get 'em, Gravy Boy!" Eddy bellowed.

Ed jumped onto the Meloninator's barrel and ran towards Jonny. He grabbed him by the shirt, threw him off the machine, and grabbed the control levers. He pulled back as hard as he could, ripping the levers from the machine, which started to beep furiously. Ed stuck his hand into the Meloninator's dashboard, grabbed a handful of wires, and pulled.

Author's Note: Remember when I said this was the finale? I lied.


End file.
